Help! My Teen Is Losing Their Faith!
No words could be more painful or create greater panic than your teen declaring their departure from faith in Christ. Our greatest desire is to see our children grow into mature and committed followers of Jesus. When those dreams appear to burst into flames before our eyes it can seem devastating.My wife and I are still parenting through the adolescent years. We can certainly empathize with these feelings and wish we could say we’ve figured everything out, but we haven't Through experience and ministry however we've learned a few things that I hope will be of help.1. Don’t give into fear.Sometimes we think it’s our God given right to worry about our kids. Being protective is certainly a part of parenting, but fear is too often connected with losing control, something we aren’t meant to have anyway. God has entrusted your children to you that you would raise them “in the training and instruction of the Lord”1. We can only model, lead and teach them to follow Jesus, but we can't make them do it. Transforming their hearts is God’s job alone. And don't forget that God is more interested in your children’s lives than you are.2. Take a long view.All things being equal if your children are teenagers they have only lived about 20% of their lives so far. That means there is still 80% left for God to work in and through to accomplish his purpose in them.We often think we know best how God should accomplish his purpose in our kids. But we don't. Only God knows what life lessons they must learn; what heartaches or joys, disappointment or triumphs they need to experience before they will see Him and Him alone as their God and Saviour.Ravi Zacharias once described God as the Grand Weaver.2 When a weaver weaves a rug the back side looks like a mess of disconnected strings and colours. That what we see. Only the weaver however can envision the grand design emerging from that seemingly messy mash of strings.God is weaving the tapestry of your children's lives and it will not be complete until their lives are over. So keep a long view. Things might seem messy right now, but trust God that he is faithful to work out his master plan with his eyes on the whole.3. Maintain a faithful witness: Getting angry or falling to pieces in front of your teen may get them to fall back into line as far as an outward conformity to Christian living, but that will only be because they want to keep you happy. This is not the way to bear witness to trust in Christ for your teen to see and will probably make them resent Christianity even more.You don’t need to be preachy or sanctimonious. Simply work to display a calm, consistent, daily dependance on Christ. Remember, your child is trying to figure out their own formula for life and they will not lightly dismiss your example. The key is making it an example worth seeing.4. Ask thoughtful questions: Who knows what’s going on inside your child’s heart and mind. Don’t assume that you do. Instead, ask questions that foster meaningful conversation and show them you are someone they can talk to. Here are a few examples of good questions to ask.“Dad. Mom…I don’t think I want to be a Christian anymore.”
- “What’s made you feel as though you longer consider belief in Jesus to be true?”
- “How does it make you feel to no longer call yourself a Christian?”
- “Is there anything we have done to cause you to question your faith?”
- “If the Bible is no longer shaping your beliefs then what is?” (i.e. What have they replaced it with?)
- Ephesians 6:4
- Ravi Zacharias, The Grand Weaver: How God Shapes Us Through The Events of Our LIves, Zondervaan, July, 2010.